Someone's got a hold of her heart and He won't let go...

As a woman of God, my first thought should always be on Jesus Christ.  I am so content in my singleness right now.  I'm so thankful that Jesus has complete ownership of my heart and that I have allowed self to get out of the way and let that happen.

These lyrics are amazing and until someone can say this about my life, I'll know that God is not ready to send the one He has for me.  Because it's only at the point that I am so consumed in Christ that nothing else matters and God feels like it's the right time, do I even want a guy to be put in my life.

Thank you Jesus for giving me the strength to wait on the one you have for me.  It's in your time and not mine.  Living my life set apart for Jesus now will not only change me, but will change the man that Jesus is preparing for me.

What a beautiful smile

A radiant girl

Fell in love first time I saw her

She stays on my mind

I’d give anything

To know everything about her

There’s light in her eyes

And I know it’s all for Him

She carries on and on

Like He was her best friend

She’s in love 

It’s not hard to see

But I would like to believe it was with me

Someones got a hold of her heart

And He won’t let go

And I know

She’s in love

She looks to the sky

When she talks about Him

She believes He hung the moon

Said He had to go away

She waits for his return

Says He’s coming for her soon

How can this be fair?

This guy can walk on water

Don’t guess I’ve got a prayer

He’s written love letters to reach her

She worships the ground He walks on

She just smiles when she says His name

It’s a match made in heaven

I can’t compete with the King of Kings

Tweet

Read more »

Shame on YOU, America....

"Shame on you America: the only country where we have homeless without shelter, children going to bed without eating, elderly going without needed meds, and mentally ill without treatment - yet we have a benefit for the people of Haiti on 12 TV stations."

I really can't believe people are posting such nonsense as what is above...

This is what it should really say:

Shame on the people who are only concerned about America. This is a WORLD created by God, not just a country. No wonder this world is going to crap, everyone only cares about themselves. Everybody is concerned about people in America not having this or having that. As a person created by God who created ALL things, we should not be so concerned with our own selves, but with those who are less fortunate. The standards that America deem poor are still MUCH higher than those of 3rd world countries such as Haiti. While America does have poor and homeless and orphans, they are taken better care of here in America than they are in Haiti.
Children who are in orphanages here in America actually get to sleep on beds each night and get to eat 3 meals a day and get to play with their friends. They get to go to the doctor if they are sick and they get to wrap up in blankets each night.
Children who are in orphanages in Haiti are many times sold as domestic servants and are often abused. Most of the orphanage homes are not inspected and they struggle to provide food, education and other necessities that are needed to provide for the children. Unless the orphanages are ministry ran, most of them are ran by child protection officers who are corrupt.
Haiti is the size of Maryland and food can sometimes be a rare find. Many orphaned children are fed rice for a meal and that is it. While orphaned children in America are running around playing with their toys, orphaned children in Haiti are sitting on dirt floors. They are drinking water that we wouldn’t even think about putting our hands in.
Many of the children that are in orphanages in Haiti are there because their family has sold them for money. That is how desperate the people of Haiti are. Selling children in Haiti is a bigger business than selling cocaine.

As God’s children, when we see a child, we see a soul. We see a soul that has been perfectly created by God for a purpose.
Shame on America for thinking we are so much better than the rest of the world. Shame on America for being self centered and not caring about the rest of the world. Shame on America for not doing the work of God as He has called us to do.

Tweet

Read more »

In a friend, you find a second self...

"Oh Holy God, I stay amazed...You are so much more than words could ever say..."


When we as non-believers come to Christ and are made new through Him, there are still moments where our sinful nature will prod it's way into our life.  We may be having the most amazing day ever in regards to blessings of God or just seeing His love on a completely new level, yet because we are human...we still slip.  We are still in the world, but we are not to be of the world.  


My senior year of high school, I was voted "class clown," "life of the party," "loudest," and "knows the gossip."  At that time (and in college) I thrived on that.  I was an only child until about the age of 10 and so I was used to being the center of attention.  It's never been hard for me to make friends, but for whatever reason I felt it was important that these characteristics defined who I was.  Because at the time, I didn't know who I was...I had to have someone else label me.  


Going to college was a completely different setting for me and even though I was only 2 hours away from home, it was still a new environment.  A new environment where people didn't know me, so I had to make it known that "this is who I am."  I am the loudest, knows everything about everyone and everything, life of the party class clown who can make everyone laugh.  That's what I wanted everyone to know.  Everywhere I went, for whatever reason, I always felt that my presence had to be known.  Who did I think I was?  


Moving to South Carolina has been a huge turning point for me.  After a few years of different family members living down here on and off, I am finally here alone.  For almost a year now, I've been completely alone and 14 hours away from anyone that knew me.  


This past summer, when I rededicated my life to Christ, I knew that there were so many things about myself that had to change in order for me to become the woman that God wanted me to be.  The biggest thing in my life is gossip.  It's not that I always start the conversation about someone, but for whatever reason, I'm always quick to jump in.  This is something that God has really been dealing with me about.  


Ephesians 4:29-30 says "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption."


As being someone in the world, it's very hard to fall back into the pattern of a worldly life.  It's something I struggle with and I know other people struggle with.  We aren't perfect.  I'm not perfect.  I've been on both sides of the field when it comes to gossip.  I've talked about someone and I've been talked about.  Neither one of these are pleasing to God.


In today's life that is full of chaos and commotion and confusion, it's easy to misinterept someone's actions or words or thoughts.  I've done this plenty of time.  When something happens, I have my own opinion about it and how I view the situation.  That's doesn't mean it's right.  Chances are, I don't have the entire story.  I learned that tonight more than anything.  


I've also learned that in friendships, sometimes someone has to be the bigger person.  Friendships require a lot of forgiveness.  When we have friends, even best friends, it seems like they are the ones we hurt the most.  Even when we don't mean to.  One of my really great friendships started by forgiveness.  Forgiveness that was necessary because someone very close to both of us at the time, for whatever reason, did not want us to be close.  Therefore, there were always actions and words being said that caused a rift between me and this girl.  As time went on, I knew God was changing me because after 2 years of literally having so much hatred for this girl, God softened my heart for her.  This led to me sending her a message on facebook apologizing for whatever I had done and letting her know that there were things in her life that I could actually relate to.  When it was all said and done, we have become really close and have helped each other grow closer to God.  In the meantime, we have also realized that our differences were mainly caused by someone elses words and actions, and not so much by our own.  In the meantime, I still knew that I had to forgive her for any wrong doing that I thought maybe I had done. 


Going on in Ephesians 4, the Bible tells us in verse 31 and onto verse 32 to "Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you."  


We have a God that we serve that is so fair and just and so forgiving, that we should be molded into His likeness.  If He can forgive us for ALL of the sin and dirt and shame in our life, why does it seem so hard to forgive our friends or people who are around us?  


Ephesians 5:1-2 says "Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God."  


Instead of tearing our friends down and gossiping about people to them or in front of them, let's remember to bring our friends up.  Each of us go through different times and trials in our life where we NEED our friends.  We need these people that God has placed in our life.  I need these people that God has placed in my life.  Each person that God has put in my life, has been put here for a reason.  Sometimes their duration in my life is not that long, but that person has still left an impression on me that has somehow shaped and changed my life.  Everyone makes at least one decision in their life that is based on a friend.  Whether it's making a decision of what to wear, relationships, other friends, work, etc., our decisions are influenced by our friends and what they think.  


I know I have hurt people.  Probably a lot of people and for that I'm sorry.  If I have ever hurt you, or said something about you or to you that was hurtful, I'm sorry.  If I have ever degraded you in anyway or made you feel less valuable than you really are, I'm sorry.  If I have ever looked down upon you for anything in your life that I didn't agree with, I'm sorry.  If I have ever failed you, I'm sorry.  Please forgive me, just as Christ has forgiven me.  I promise to do better and please know that I love you with my whole being.  I love each and every person that God has put in my life.  I don't know where I would be without you.  


Living, He loved me
Dying, He saved me
Buried, He carried my sins far away
Rising, He justified freely forever
One day He’s coming
Oh glorious day, oh glorious day


-Casting Crowns

Tweet

Read more »

Your presence is a treasure I am seeking...

I took this picture 2 years ago when we were in Clearwater, FL.  Heaven...that's all I can think about when I look at this.  I believe that God gives us glimpses of what Heaven will be like, even though it's not even a tiny piece of how it's really going to look.  


How can you look at this picture and not believe in God.  That someone so much greater and more powerful could create something as beautiful as this.  The creation of a sunset appears in just seconds.  Imagine how beautiful Heaven is going to be knowing that right before Jesus died, He told His disciples that He was going to prepare a place for them (and us).  That was over 2000 years ago and even though God's time is not our time, it is still awesome think about how absolutely amazing paradise will be.  We can't even fathom what the paradise of Heaven will be like.  Our minds can't comprehend it.  

This picture of Golgotha was taken while I was standing in the Garden Tomb area.  This is Skull Hill, the site where  Jesus was crucified.   After they took Him down from the cross, Joseph of Arimathea and Nicodemus carried Jesus' body to the tomb and lay it inside.  The tomb is only a meer 100 meters away from the site of Jesus' crucifixion.

                                              

As you can tell, there was a huge line waiting to go inside of the tomb.  The Bible tells us that the tomb that Jesus was placed in was in the side of a mountain, this is why based on area and location of Skull Hill, this tomb was the only place where Jesus' body could have been taken.  Inside the tomb to your right, it is gated off.  This is where they say that the body of Jesus lay.  You can not touch the spot because of the gate, but to just be inside the tomb is amazing.  The door of the tomb has a sign on the back of it that says "He is not here, for He has risen..."  Those words send chills down my back.

I couldn't imagine being in Jerusalem at the time of Jesus' death.  With Him being up on the cross and people standing by on the streets, shouting at Him.  It's bad enough to be going through a public death, but to be insulted at the same time, Jesus didn't stand a chance.  Jesus had to rely on His Father's love to get Him through His suffering on the cross, because that is the ONLY way He could have endured the pain for as long as He did.  In the book of John it talks about Jesus' mother being close enough to Him while He was on the cross to talk to Him.  Could you imagine? Watching your son hang on a cross, knowing that He came into the world to die that way.  Jesus was mocked by the chief priests, the teachers of the law, and the elders and after hearing them yell at Him to come down off the cross if He was really the King of Israel, could have have been a temptation for Him.  He could have very easily done just that, but He didn't.  He had to endure the pain and suffering to carry out God's plan.  He had to finish what He started and what He came on earth to do.  He cried out "It is finished."  (John 19:30)  


Jesus went through all of the pain and suffering and literal torture to pay the atonement for our sins.  I mean He knew how He was going to die, yet He still carried out God's plans.  How many times do we not do something because we don't know the outcome OR we do know what the outcome is going to be, which REALLY makes us steer clear of the opportunity.  


I can't even begin to imagine what Jesus looked like after He was raised up and appeared to Mary Magdelene.  I mean she was there during the crucifixion and it was only 3 days later that He appeared to her when she was at the tomb.  She couldn't have possibly forgotten what He looked like, yet the very sight of Jesus, stopped her in her tracks and she didn't even recognize Him.   She was standing there in TEARS over the thought that someone had taken Jesus' body.  She wanted to annoint His body.  She was so thankful for the freedom that Jesus had given her when he drove the seven demons out of her body.  


Mary Magdalene was truly passionate about Jesus and knew that He had saved her from the pit of hell.  She was there when His disciples were not.  She watched the agony that Jesus endured and I believe that He honored that by appearing to Her first at the tomb.  I believe she was exactly where she was supposed to be at that time and place.  She possessed the same attitude that we should have when it comes to Jesus.  She had a childlike faith that allowed her to just obey instead of questioning Jesus.  How many times have we questioned God?  How many times have we chartered our own course instead of letting God handle it for us.  


So many times we forget that this life is not our own.  I'm so thankful that God loves me enough that He would send His ONLY son down to earth to live a short life and die such a horrible death so that I could have eternity in Heaven.  God has given us a free invitation to Heaven's party.  Don't throw away your invite, do something with it.  We are all called at some point in our life.  Everyone goes through a time in their life when they go through conviction.  Jesus is standing at the door of your life and knocking.  Are you going to let Him in or are you going to turn Him away?  


I'm so thankful that I have the opportunity to have a personal relationship with Jesus.  A relationship that can never be compared to anyone or anything in this world.  My heart has changed so much over these past few months and it has only came from God.  My life has nothing to do with me.  Unfortunately, that is the type of world we are living in these days.  A me, me, me world.  


Now is the time to realize that "me" could have never been possible without God.  He created "me" which means this life is not my own.  It's time to obey instead of asking questions.  It's time to get down to business.  In God's eyes, there isn't much time...don't waste the time that is left.  Remember that all of the materialistic things in life are not going to matter when it's our time to give up our bodies.  We will be going to a new heaven...a new paradise.  One that is being prepared for us.  One that will never see darkness again...


Thank you Jesus for finishing what You came on earth to start.  Thank You for Your obedience.  Thank You for bearing the sin of the world on Your shoulders.  I can't wait to worship and praise You for eternity...

You are enthroned above the heavens
The earth and all creation bow before You
You are crowned with strength and glory
The angels crying holy all surround You
For you will stand
Your kingdom has no end

Oh Holy God
I stay amazed
You are so much than words could ever say
Oh Holy God I pour out my praise
On the One who never ceases to amaze me

You are loving beyond treasure
Your presence is a treasure I am seeking
You are all consuming fire I am Your desire and You are mine

Im pouring out my praise on You
Im pouring out my love on You 

"Stay Amazed" by Elizabeth Clark & Klaus Kuehn

Tweet

Read more »

It's time we start living up to our name...

January 1, 2010....how did you come so quickly?

Exactly 10 years ago, I was a senior in high school and going through one of the most amazing moments of my life.  Conviction.  Big word, so much meaning.  New Years Eve 1999, my mom and Jeanne Ann and I went shopping in Peoria, IL and the entire trip there and back was spent talking about the end of the world.  I was freaked out.  I literally thought that because of Y2K, the world was actually really going to end at the stroke of midnight that night.  It seemed I only had a few hours to live.  Not so much.  I spent that New Year's Eve sober, which shocked a lot of people.  After all, I was always the one having "euchre parties" at my house and let's not forget the $350 worth of alcohol that I got busted with during half time of our WC vs. Winamac game only 3 months prior to NYE.  

But at this moment of my life, I was going through something.  Something I didn't talk about to anyone because I didn't really know what was going on and I just had a feeling that everyone would laugh at me.  Needless to say, I made it through NYE 1999, clearly past midnight and onto 2000.  

About a week later, it just so happened that my uncle Red was heading to a basketball game and asked if I wanted to go with him.  It was just our high school games, but nonetheless it was complete divine intervention for me.  God's hand was clearly pushing me to go.  Do you ever just have moments where you know you need to do something and you can't really figure out why the opportunity presents itself, but when it's all said and done, it becomes an "ah ha" moment?  Well that's what happened the night of January 7th, 2000.  By the end of the 20 minute ride to North White High School (its amazing that I can recall details like it just happened last week) I was bawling.  It was at that moment that I realized that the emotions I had been feeling for the past couple weeks, weren't just emotions.  It was completely God and He was putting me through His amazing conviction.  The first work of the Holy Spirit in our lives is conviction.  The power behind it can only come from God. It's the only way to understand it.  On the way home from the basketball game that night, my uncle told me that his church was having a revival the following 2 nights and that I should come.  

January 8, 2000 is a day I will never forget.  During the revival, there was an evangelist there named Jerry.  I think he was from West Virginia.  As I'm standing in the pew next to my grandma and singing along to the songs, my heart is just full of despair and longing.  Apparently it was written all over my face, because next thing you know Jerry points to me (never met the man before in my life) and he proceeds to tell me that it's time to turn my life over to God and that God is speaking to him to pray with me.  Whoa....immediately tears came streaming down my face.  How did this man know so much about my pain and agony, yet had never spoken a word to me before that?  I went up to the alter, sat on my knees, put my head down and literally poured out my heart to God.  I can't remember ever crying as hard as I did that night.  The weight of the sin in my life had literally took me to a place that was so dark and cold.  A place I never want to go near again.  Then here I was crying out to Jesus to bring some light to my life.  He heard me.  He answered my call for help.  He embraced me as I dropped to His feet.  

That day, God saved me....He literally saved my soul and every part of my being.  He pulled me up out of the darkest pits of my life.  It was at that moment, I saw a glimpse of Heaven.  I saw what my Creator was about.  I felt Him.  I felt His presence...and from that moment on, I knew I would never be alone. 

One week from today will be 10 years since the day I first met Christ.

I've had so many ups and downs in my life since that very moment.  Some of them, I included God, many of them I didn't.  At least I didn't think so at the time.  For some reason, I was always leaving God out of the equation in my life.  Besides, it is my life right?  My decisions?  Well....not so much.  What I have been through though, has brought me to this exact moment in my life.  I wouldn't change that for anything.  Through the hurt and pain of losing friends, loved ones, life changing decisions, moving 900 miles away from my family, etc...I wouldn't change a moment of it.  And even though I thought I was making all of the decisions, it's awesome to look back and see that as I was taking the pen and writing the story of my life, God had His hand wrapped around mine, guiding the pen in His direction.  


As 2010 begins, God, I just ask that You teach me patience.  Patience with my life.  This life seems to go so quickly, and our moments soon become memories.  Each second has a past.  God, I pray that when it comes to my own longings and desires, you give me the strength and courage to turn them over to You.  After all, You created them.  You know my heart.  You know my yearnings.  I just need more patience to know that there are certain moments for everything.  And those moments shouldn't be rushed.  

I'm the girl who always wants to know the outcome before the beginning even gets started.  I'm thankful that in my life, I already know the outcome.  I already know what the end looks like.  Now it's time to just enjoy the pre-show.  This life is not a rehearsal.  This life is serious.  It's time to get serious about our walk with Christ.  What are we waiting for?  Are we waiting for someone else to get the blessings that God has promised us?  God wants Christ Warriors that are going to fight for His kingdom.  

I won't back down, I'm on a mission....

In the name of Jesus, we will change this city and this world.  Words can't describe how utterly amazing it is that God drew each line of my life that led me straight to REFUGE.  He brought this family to me when I needed it the most.  When I thought I was alone and no one understood what I was going through.  I had to realize that my walk with Jesus is WAY more important than any plans I have.  

My love for Jesus has changed me.  He has awaken my soul.  To be a Christian is to be Christ-like.  It's about time we start living up to our name.  

Here is to 2010!  I'm praying for a change.  I'm praying for a revolution.  I'm praying for REFUGE!  Let's do this!

Tweet

Read more »

Here's to 2010...

It's 12:09 a.m. which means that it is officially New Years Eve.  Finally, 2010 is upon us.  This means resolutions and goals for so many.  While we were in small group last night, Stacy asked us what our resolutions were.  But it was the kind of resolutions that she mentioned that really stuck a chord.  "What kind of biblical or spiritual resolutions have you thought about..." is the question that was asked.  Hmmm...for whatever reason, I hadn't even thought about a selfish resolution, not to mention one based on my faith.  So I got to thinking last night and today.  What ARE my biblical and spiritual resolutions for 2010?  

• read my Bible daily
• keep up my prayer journal
• start up our organization for girls/women
• become a great leader for God
• become a small group leader
• help our missions team grow across Columbia
• disciple more people
• lead more people to Christ
• pray without ceasing for my family members and their salvation

These are just a few of my short term resolutions...I will keep adding to the list. I just want Jesus to be my EVERYTHING.  I want to be sooo consumed by Him.  

I've finished the first parts of my new site called "Single girl on a mission...to be the hands and feet of Jesus."  There is still a lot of work to be done, but I'm excited.  I hope it can help people reevaluate their walk with God and show that Jesus is sooo amazing and once we give it all to Him, we become new.  We are freed from our sin.  We have the option of where we will spend eternity.  Imagine how beautiful God can paint the sky in just a second.  Now think about what heaven will be like when Jesus went over 2000 years ago to prepare a place for us.  I can't even fathom what heaven will be like after all of this time preparing when I see the beauty that is created in mere seconds.  I can't even begin to describe how amazing and beautiful I think it's going to be.  It's not meant for us to fathom.  But it's going to be amazing. 

I hope you all have a wonderful New Year's Eve and a safe one!  I can't wait to spend it with tons of people from REFUGE!  It's going to be amazing!  Will 2010 be the year?  Who knows!  :) Love you all!!

Lord, You have assigned me my portion and my cup;
       You have made my lot secure.
  The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places;
       surely I have a delightful inheritance.
  I will praise the Lord, who counsels me;
       even at night my heart instructs me.
 I have set the Lord always before me.
       Because He is at my right hand,
       I will not be shaken.
Psalm 16:5-8

Tweet

Read more »

In Your death I see undying love...

There you have it.  Oh little town of Medaryville.  This is where I grew up.  Do I miss small town life?  I'd say yes and no.  Medaryville gave me the opportunity to be close to my family.  Everyone lived within 10 minutes of each other.  It was great.  Now everyone is scattering as the years go on.  Families aren't what they used to be.  God has been pushed aside.  He has been pushed out of the equation.  I love the wedding vows between Vanessa and Frank in "Madea's Family Reunion."  Even though it is just a movie, the words are so true. And when spoken in actual truth in a real marriage, can make all of the difference.  Instead of the marriage just being about 2 people, its about incorporating God into the marriage as well.  These are the vows:

I never thought that I could meet someone like you.
You are my friend.
You are my smile.
You are my everything.
You are a breath-taking reflection
of God's heart for me....
of how he pursued me...
and loved me even when I didn't love myself.
You held my hand in the darkness
and you pulled me out into the light.
I love you...
You are my light.
And it doesn't matter what happens
in this life as long as you're with me.
When I look at you, I know that there's a God
and that he loved me so much
that he took the time to create you...just for me.
I love you....past my mind....beyond my heart....
I love you from my soul.
And that's the space where only you and God dwell.

Does it get much better than that?  In order for a marriage to remain, God MUST be the center of it.  I have seen very few marriages last and the ones I have seen that are not centered around God, its by only His grace that those marriages have even lasted that long.  It's a sad time.  It makes my heart ache to watch people everyday battle with problem relationships or problems in marriage.  If you are married, stop and remember your vows.  If you are still single, think about what you would want to say to your husband or wife on that special day.  Words are only words unless they are put into action.  Your vows must be lived, not just spoken.  I pray that when I am married, my spouse will love me just like Christ loves the church.  Because only then will I know that it is true and pure and what the love is centered on.  Wow...I can't wait till that day.  To know that the one that God is preparing for me, is going to love me like Christ loves me. I can't wait.  It will be whole heartedly and with complete abandon to anyone else.  And I pray that God doesn't bring anyone to me who isn't strong enough in God to be able to live his vows.  Words are only words unless they are put into action.  


Like I said in my previous post...if you are single, it is soooo important to pray for the person that God is preparing for you.  Why wait till you meet that person?  Start now...remain faithful to that person even if God hasn't revealed him/her.  Don't continue to give your heart away until you think that you have found the one.  When you do that you are giving pieces of your heart away to each person you date and when it is finally time for you to marry, you will only be giving your future spouse what is left of your heart.  He/she deserves all of it.  


The way a man treats a woman is a reflection of his relationship with God...


This was just something that was on my heart tonight.  I'm praying for my Christ built warrior, whoever he may be....

Tweet

Read more »

Is there another way???

God is changing my heart.  Anybody who knows me, knows that I have always been an independent person.  Ever since I can remember, I have always been taught that in order to have things in life, I would need to be the one to make that happen.  I was never taught to rely on God for all things in life.  I was taught that He would be there through the bad, but was never taught that He would be there through the good.  I have learned more about God and His love for us more in the past couple of months than in my entire life.  Dropping a couple of people off at the shelter tonight broke my heart.  To see 2 buildings that looked nothing more than storage buildings, house a couple hundred homeless people each night...there is not a lot that is more heartbreaking.

I want to be poured out for Him.  The reason I am here is to do His work, not mine.  It is amazing to know that I am 100% for sure that God has me where I'm at for a reason.  I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be.  All of the things that I have went through in my life, I would never change.  They have led me to where I'm at in this moment.  God has been preparing His way for me.  I love being obedient to God even when the way is scary.  And a lot of times it is.  We just have to trust in Him.  We have to trust that His way is better than ours.  We have to trust that He knows what is best for our life.  We may think that we know, but we don't.  All the plans that He has made for us, lead us down His path.  The reason that so many veer off that path is because they choose to do it their way instead of Gods.  It's our fault, not His.  He allows it to happen, because He is a loving God.  He allows us to make mistakes and He allows us the opportunity to repent of those mistakes.

I really believe that fulfillment for a Christian woman begins with Christ in every area of her life.  There is not one person on this earth that can make us as happy as Jesus can.  I've learned a lot by being single. I believe God is opening my eyes to many new things and opportunities that I wouldn't be able to do if I were married right now.  I'm not saying that when I am married one day, that I won't be able to fulfill God's callings, but I believe God will call me to do things based on whatever state of life I'm in whether it is singleness, in a relationship, engaged, marriage, or even in motherhood.  Each of these seasons of life are sooo important and God allows each season to have it's own purpose.  God is going to call each person to do something different for His kingdom during each season of their life.  This is soo amazing to understand.  Many people think that singleness is like a disease.  Apparently because I'm not married, it's somehow become the worst thing in life!  There are people out there dying EVERY day without knowing about Jesus.  This is WAY more important than me having a "happily ever after" with someone.

That doesn't mean that God doesn't want me to have a "happily ever after."  I actually believe He is currently preparing me for it.  He is changing my heart and changing things in my life so that one day when I am married, I can be the wife that I am supposed to be.  I want to be a wife that is based on biblical attributes.  I want to be a submissive wife.  And this is definitely not something I would have wanted a year ago.  It's crazy.  When God reveals the person that I am to marry, it will be amazing because we will completely complement each other and not complete each other.  I don't want someone who needs to be completed.  I'm completed in Jesus Christ.  I want someone where we can complement each other.  Did you know that a man or a woman not complete in Jesus Christ will be a complete drain on the person he/she is dating or married to?  It's exhausting.  But to have the love of Jesus completely and utterly fulfilling our hearts and lives....wow....it's amazing and will continue to be amazing.  That love just overflows and you can't help but want to share it with everyone, including your s/o.

I love the fact that the next person that I hold hands with, will be the same hands I'm holding onto on my wedding day.  I know this, because I'm doing God's will for my life.  This means in ALL aspects of my life.  I'm not going to date someone just because I feel like it.  The only person I will be dating, is the person that I intend on marrying, and that is ONLY if he is the one that God has sent for me.  This makes my heart jump for joy!  I have learned though that during this process, I should not only be praying that God will teach me to be the person I need to be for marriage, but that God will also teach my future husband all that he needs to know and learn.  This is huge.  How many of you have just prayed for God to bring you someone, but you haven't actually prayed specifically for that person.  Everyone prays "God, please send me that special someone." But nobody takes it a further step and prays things like "God, I know you have the perfect person out there for me.  And until you reveal that person to me, I pray that you will guide him and teach him the attributes of Your life so that he can become the man you intend him to be."  I pray that my current husband is praying for me too.  Not just for God to reveal me to him, but that I am whole heartedly devoting my life to Christ with complete abandonment.

There are many things that I need to learn before I feel that God is going to reveal that person to me.  First, I need to know that I am COMPLETELY content in my singleness.  This boils down to the fact that even though I want to be married some day, God may have other plans.  God may actually call me to be single for the rest of my life, and if that happens, I must be content in Him.  Fully content.  To know that He is enough for me, is beyond explainable.

To have tasted the love of God is like nothing that can ever be explained.  There are not enough words that can describe the love that He has for us.  There is nothing greater than the obedience that Jesus showed by dying the cross.  Yes He did it because He loves us, but He also did it to be obedience and to teach us obedience.  The night that Jesus prayed in the Garden of Gethsemane, He taught such a valuable lesson that can never be forgotten.  He asked God if there was another way.  Is there another way to save these people from their sins.  And there wasn't.  Jesus had to be obedient and know that He was going to lose His life for the sake of ours.  This pleased Him.  Even though He knew that He would die a torturous death, He still obeyed what He was called to do.  To teach us that even though there may be another way, that way is not always God's way.   I do pray though that the man that God is preparing for me is absolutely 100% obedient in His walk with Christ.  He does not do what the world wants him to do, but what God wants him to do.  I pray that he too wants to be the hands and feet of Jesus and we can do God's work together.  Life is never ordinary with Jesus.

My prayer is that people open their eyes.  We need to get back to the way life was in the early biblical times.  We need to actually LIVE the Christian life rather than just say we are a Christian.  Anybody can call themselves a Christian, but most can't back up their words.  Actions speak louder than words.  What are you doing to be the hands and feet of Jesus?  If God looked at your life, would it be pleasing unto Him?  If you died today, would you be able to look God in the face and know that you did all that you could for His kingdom?  Most people can't say that they have.  It's time to start.  It's time to change this world and it's time to start living the Christ-like life instead of just talking about it.  One thing is for certain, it's not going to be all sunshine and roses.  A true walk with God is going to have is trials and tribulations.  God is going to allow us to go through temptations that will truly test our faith.  Which way will you choose?  Will you choose your way or God's way?

Jackie Pullinger was an amazing missionary who gave up her life to go to Hong Kong to spread the Word of God.  She gave up her life to do God's work....Please take a look at this video that has been put together with a short snippet of some of her inspiring words.  This is entitled "Go".  Let's be the hands and feet of Jesus.  What will you do to make this happen?

Tweet

Read more »

Jesus, You are always by my side....

I had the privilege to see Tenth Avenue North in concert with Beth a few weeks ago.  What an amazing time of worship.  This song "By Your Side" has always been very close to my heart.  The words are absolutely amazing and love just pours out of them.  I wanted to break the lyrics down and right about how I view each line of the lyrics and how they have applied to somethings in my life and in other's lives that I have seen.  


Why are you striving these days - Life is always about striving for something better.  With everything we do in life, we always want more.  Why??  Why can't we ever be content?  Jesus tells us that He is enough for our lives.  When will we ever be content with knowing that what Jesus has taught us is the reality of life.  He allows the longing in our hearts so that we will turn to Him, not turn to people or things.  

Why are you trying to earn grace - Jesus paid a price for our sins.  By being obedient, He paid our sin debt.  It is a free gift of salvation!  Why do we always feel like we have to earn it from Him.  He chose to provide it to us freely.

Why are you crying - We cry because we can't handle it anymore.  We cry because we don't have the answers.  We cry because life isn't going our way.  But Jesus went to prepare a place for us....a Holy City...the NEW Jerusalem.  Where there will be no more sorrow, no more tears, and no more pain.  But we must put our trust in Him in order to experience the Holy City....So why are we crying?  We should be rejoicing that one day we will have a new body...we will be like Jesus...

Let me lift up your face - This is all about trusting Jesus.  I have the HARDEST time with trust.  I have allowed people in my lives who have betrayed my trust and who still continue to betray it.  The word "trust" means to have confidence or faith in.  All to often we put our confidence and faith into man and flesh and things of this world instead of putting our faith and confidence into the One who can take all of our pain away.  There is only one that we can FULLY trust and that is Jesus.  Hebrews 13:5 says "Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you."  I can imagine right now, God standing in front of me right now, putting His hands on my face, staring me in the eyes saying.."Tiffany, I will never leave you nor forsake you.  I can deliver you from everything that keeps you from Me.  I can restore your heart and allow you to trust again." But first I know that I must learn how to WHOLEHEARTEDLY trust and seek Him because He is the only way that I will truly be able to trust again.

Just don't turn away - Wow...what words..."Just don't turn away"  Why is it that when we reach our low point, we realize it's because we've turned away.  For whatever reason, we felt we could do it all on our own.  I have to constantly remind myself EVERYDAY that I can't do it on my own.  The minute I turn away from God, everything falls apart.  Even if its just for a second.  I've had to realize that this life is not my own.  My life was bought for a price that can never be fathomed.  

Why are you looking for love - Ouch....this happens to all of us.  Earthly love can get the best of us.  Trust me, I know all too well.  I do know for certain though, that in order to happy...truly happy and content and trusting and everything else that a TRUE marriage should be, it must be created by God.  He is the reason for existence.  He is a mighty God.  I have struggled with this same question from God for soooo long!  I was always looking for someone to complete.  Someone that I could give my heart to.  And guess what has happened.  My heart has been broken, over and over and over and over again.  That is not how God designed love.  God does not want us to give pieces of our heart to just any guy that comes along.  God is calling me to be single right now.  I know this.  God has a reason for everything and His plans overthrow my plans.  I would love to be married right now.  I would love to have a family right now.  But for whatever reason, God is saying otherwise.  It will happen when it's supposed to happen.  

Why are you still searching as if I'm not enough - This goes back to being content.  If we were TRULY content in Jesus, we wouldn't be searching for something else in our lives.  Our lives would be satisfied and fulfilled.  Even though it is human nature to desire more in our lives, we have to know what is of God and what isn't.  Are your desires based on your own wants and needs or Gods wants and needs.  I'm guilty of not truly giving up my wants for what God desires.  I struggle with this daily.  Why do I feel like I can handle the job better than God?  He wants to handle everything for me.  He wants to be enough for me.  He wants to be everything that I will ever need.  This life is but a vapor.  This life is short.  I know that without a doubt.  The death of Sabrina has changed me like I can't even imagine.  One breath.  That's all it is.  We are just one breath away from eternity. 

To where will you go child - In my life, I'm constantly on the go.  I'm always doing something or going somewhere.  Sometimes it's almost like I feel like I can run away from my problems.  But guess what.  They are there.  They go where I go.  Jesus is the same way.  It doesn't matter where I run to, He is always there.  He is always by my side whether I think He is or not.  He questions me and says "Where will you go if you will not go towards Me."  There isn't any other place that I want to be than safely under His amazing, heavenly embrace. 

Tell me where will you run - Jesus doesn't want me or you to run away.  He wants us to run towards Him.  At Sabrina's funeral, one of the songs I chose to play was "Footprints in the Sand" by Leona Lewis.  It tears me up to listen to it.  I wish everyone would listen to the words of this song.  Yes, it is based on the Footprints in the Sand poem, but the words come alive when they are sang.  There is a part that says "when I thought I lost my way, You give me the strength to carry on..."  These words burn into my heart and soul when I hear them.  Instead of running away, let Him pick you up and carry you.  May there only be one set of footprints.  Because then it is that moment that Jesus is not only walking beside us throughout our journey, but there are a few times along the way that He has to pick us up and carry us through our trials and burdens and temptations.  And He won't let us out of the safety of His arms until He knows it's safe for us to be put back on our feet.  

To where will you run - Once again, He is questioning why we run away from Him...

'Cause I'll be by your side - Once again, He will never leave us nor forsake us.  God's word is always true.  It is always faithful.  It is always the one thing that we can count on in life.  There have been so many times in my short walk with Christ that I have forgotten that He is by my side.  I have forgotten that He said He will never leave me.  It is then that I am constantly reminded of His amazing presence.  In most cases, it's almost like He is tapping me on the shoulder saying "Hey Tiff....don't forget, I'm still here.  I'll never leave you."

Wherever you fall - Romans 3:23 says "for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God." The same word, "fall" yet just in this case 2 different meanings.  In one way it makes me think of wherever I am at, that I can drop to my knees and pray my heart and soul out to Jesus.  Jesus will be there to hear me.  Wherever I fall on my knees, it doesn't matter.  He is there to pick me back up again.  On the other hand, to me, it also means when I have sinned.  As a Christian, it doesn't mean I'm perfect.  It doesn't mean that I won't ever sin again.  No one is perfect.  Only our Father, who is in Heaven, is perfect.  When I have reached perfection, that is when God will call me home.  My hour will be up and I will take my last breath.  If I sin, I have to repent of my sin and have TRUE repentance.  Unfortunately, on numerous occasions I have tried to repent on my own terms.  This has only gotten me in trouble.   This is something I'm praying earnestly about.  With Jesus' amazing strength, He is molding me into a likeness of Him.  He is teaching me what is really means to be a Christian.  To be Christ Like.

In the dead of night - It doesn't matter what time it is.  Even if it's in the dead of night, He is there for me.  Like the Bible says, when Jesus comes back, He will come back like a thief in the night.  A lot of people fear the night.  I embrace it.  

Whenever you call - All I have to do is call on Jesus and He is ALWAYS there.  I can't express it enough.  When God speaks to me, it is absolutely amazing.  Until you have truly experienced it, you won't understand it.  God's discerning voice is like no other.  At any time that I'm in need, it seems that He is always there...ready to take the call.  Ready to answer.  Many times it may not be the answer I want to hear, but it will be the answer that fits His plans.  Not my plans.  

And please don't fight these hands that are holding you - There have been so many times that I have had a spiritual fight with Jesus.  With so many things in my life, I have thought that I could handle them my way.  I thought that I could take care of things my way.  But Jesus has always been there for me, holding on to me, so that I wouldn't fail miserably.  Jesus has allowed me to have my own free will.  And each time I mess things up, notice I said I and not Him, He is always there to pick me back up again.  That is what is amazing about my Jesus.  No matter what, He is always there. 

My hands are holding you - He will forever be there for me.

Look at these hands and my side - Do you know the torture that Jesus went through so that we wouldn't have to die a sinner?  Do you know the pain and suffering that Jesus bore for us? Do you know that when Jesus' side was pierced and water eventually was pouring out, it was because He had already shed ALL of His blood.  He didn't just shed some blood for us, HE SHED ALL OF HIS BLOOD FOR US!  Have you ever known of anyone to shed ALL of their blood and die, so that someone else might live?  

They swallowed the grave on that night - The night that Jesus was crucified, He knew He was going to conquer the grave.  He knew that by being obedient, He was going to SAVE each and everyone of us from our sins.  Unfortunately, so many people die without ever having a personal relationship with Jesus.  So many people die without having a Savior to lean upon.  Jesus went through TORTURE so that our sins could be forgiven.  The weight of the sin of this world, rested on His shoulders.  And He was alone.  Not one person tried to help Him down off that cross.  

When I drank the world's sin - Like I said earlier, He carried the ENTIRE weight of the world's sin on his shoulders.  It took a PERFECT sacrifice for our sins to be forgotten.  Jesus was an amazing obedient sacrifice for this world.  Look how we are repaying Him.  People curse His name, people deny His teachings, people deny Him.  This week someone said that he didn't believe that one being could be responsible for everyone's sin.  But there was.  God's plan was that in order for our sins to be forgiven, He had to have a perfect, clean, pure sacrifice.  In order for that to happen, he had to have someone be born to a virgin.  Jesus paid the price for ALL of us.  Not just a few, but for all.  

So I could carry you in and give you life - By dying on the cross, Jesus gave us life.  He gave us the hope that we might live in Him.  We have a choice.  We have a choice to choose eternal life or choose eternal death.  Which do you choose?

I want to give you life - Jesus is constantly reiterating that He wants to give us life.  Not just the life that we are born with, but that we might have life and have it abundantly.  This does not mean materialistic life.  This means a life like unto His.  We are to live like Jesus did and we are to do as Jesus did.  And what's even more amazing, is the road is going to be bumpy.  There are going to be trials and tribulations along the way.  Jesus was crucified for what He believed, how should we be so different.  I'm grateful for the hard times in my life.  Suffering brings thanksgiving.  Without suffering, there would be no compassion.  There would be no thankfulness.  There would be no love.  There would be no hope.  If Jesus wouldn't have suffered for us, we would be hopeless right now.  We would be crying and desperate to figure out where we would spend eternity.  But one thing is for sure.  When you confess your sins and ask Jesus to be your Lord and Savior, you will know where you will spend eternity.  I know where I'm doing to spend eternity, do you?  

Cause I, I love you - What greater love, than for Jesus to lay down His life for us.  The gospel is such an affirmation of love.  

I want you to know - He is constantly trying to get our attention.  He wants us to know that there is another way.  We don't have to die and have eternal death.  We can die an earthly death so that we might live. We will spend eternity worshiping and praising our Lord and Savior.  What a glorious time that will be!

That I, I love you - Jesus is constantly pouring His love out on me.  Could it get any better than that?  Not hardly.  The love that Jesus is constantly showing me is one that can never be touched.  He is the author and creator of love.  And He has shown what true obedience is.

I'll never let you go - He's always by my side.  He will never leave me.  His arms are always around me, guiding me into the directions of His plans for my life.  


Jesus, thank you for being so obedient and giving Your life for me.  When the burdens in my life are too hard to carry, thank you for reminding me that my load will never be as much as yours was.  The burden of shame and guilt for all of the sins of the world, was much more than anyone else could ever bear.  But You carried that burden with open arms.  You are the Highest of Highs.  You are my King.  You are my Everything!  Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!  

Tweet

Read more »